There’s this emptiness inside of me…
I cant describe the feeling…
Cold…

Popularity: 4% [?]

Waktu terasa semakin berlalu
Tinggalkan cerita tentang kita
Akan tiada lagi kini tawa mu
Tuk hapuskan semua sepi di hati

Ada cerita tentang aku dan dia
Dan kita bersama saat dulu kala
Ada cerita tentang masa yang indah
Saat kita berduka saat kita tertawa

/me standing dazed and confused…

Popularity: 4% [?]

I’m in KL right now, staying at my friends house at Taman Puncak Kinrara. Just here for an interview, guess I didnt get it. Still trying to find a job. Trying very hard.

I think you guys didnt know, that me and Dhilla is no more. She broke up with me a week a few days ago. Just met her yesterday to return a few things of hers, didnt say a word. Just handed it and turn away. My heart is a wreck right now. I could hear my heart crushed. Need somebody to talk to. Really need someone.

She said she doesnt want Us anymore, she just want to be alone. She wants to take care of herself, I’m like a burden to her. How could a person fell out of love with someone so easily? In the 4 years of our relationship, never once crossed my mind the thought of breaking up or leaving her behind. She was always on my mind. Whatever happened, bad or worst, I never leave her. No matter how worst the situation is, I’ll always comeback to her. But not anymore…

I did tried to pujuk her, but she made up her mind…

She blamed it on my temper, of always moody and all. And why is that? Didnt she realizes I’m mooody when I cant see her, I’m mad when I cant be with her. Didnt she notice that. That was the only time I’ll get mad. When we have the oppurtunity to be together, but no she refuses to be with me. I’m always have problems with that.

I woke up the next day, feeling empty. Tears have already dried on my cheeks. My hands on my left chest, feeling this heart of mine shattered into tiny pieces. What should I do? WHere do I go from here? For the last 4 years, all of my plans have included her with me, but now? Lost isnt the words I could use here, just died.

Although this heart of mine is broken, there was never a felt of hatred towards her. I just believe all the things she said that it was my fault, adn myself to be blame. For all the things we did together, not even one memories of it could save us.

I still remember the time I twirl her around silly at KLCC. She laughs. Those eyes, those smiles, and the laugh, still fresh in my mind. I twirl her around a few more times at Kinokuniya, she laugh. I know she was a bit shy cause there were a lot of people around us. A few times, after the twirling, I hugged her secretly, just to get her hair scent that I always love. And whispered I love her. Never cared about what people said around us, just two person, who have the deepest love for each other, silly love for one another.

Now…*

Please Allah, if YOU really exist like I believe you are, show me the way to heal this pain, sent me someone to guide me through this. I’m losing faith in YOU. I’ve always asked YOU to let us, me and Dhilla to be together forever, but why now? When I’m trying to better mylife, for her, for my family, for myself? Why now? I’m losing faith…

/me standing in the rain, feeling the breeze that I owned myself…

Popularity: 4% [?]

Happy birthday to u B! I hope I’ve done the right thing by leaving you alone on that day, so you wont hear my stupid lame voice. and hope you have a great day that day, or meet someone new that made you smile again.

Happy birthday again…

/me staring into the dark nights…

Popularity: 4% [?]

Happy B’day Budak Busuk…

Popularity: 4% [?]